Season 5, episode 21 of Seinfeld aired on May 19th, 1994. The episode focuses on George, who decides to turn his life around by doing the exact opposite of what he would usually do.
Behold his grand realization:
It’s a great scene, with near-perfect writing, except for Jerry’s salmon joke. Though perhaps, with George’s sneering retort (“Good for the tuna”) maybe Jerry was supposed to fall a little flat there.
Doing the opposite is brilliant advice because it’s about doing. It’s much better than thinking about doing the opposite, which can ensnare you for days, weeks, years on end. The adult brain is wired for routine and sameness. We seek patterns because they help us compartmentalize the chaos of life. The waitress in this scene is the automatic brain: “Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.” Or my brain first thing in the morning: “Snooze the alarm, go on your phone, jump up in a panic.” The same smooth, rote, unhelpful pattern of behavior. But it doesn’t have to be this way. I am the only person making it this way. You just have to catch yourself, as George does: “No, no wait a minute. I always have tuna on toast! Nothing has ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast.”
Even in changing his lunch order, we see George rise in confidence and autonomy. Note the change in his body language when he says: “Chicken salad. On rye. Untoasted. With a side of potato salad. And a CUP OF TEA!” He’s practically giddy by the end of it. Sometimes this is all it takes. The realization that you are the only one responsible for your behavior and choices can be terrifying. But it is also liberating, even fun.
Taking responsibility for one small thing by doing the opposite allows you to gain momentum. This small act of assertiveness—changing his lunch order from one sandwich to another—gives George enough confidence to do something else, something bigger: go up to a beautiful woman and tell her the truth. “My name is George. I’m unemployed and live with my parents.” It works. “I’m Victoria, hi.”