It's okay to be seen trying
How to start when it feels cringe + a personal update
I’m thrilled to share that there are now over 40,000 of you who are subscribed to read my writing. You reside in all 50 states and 184 countries. (For reference, and because I didn’t know this, there are 195 countries in the world.) This is nothing short of astonishing to me.
While I don’t publish my fiction or essays on a set schedule—my schedule could best be described as “when it’s done”—I try my hardest to produce high-quality work that, I hope, earns my readers’ valuable time, attention, and financial support.
To celebrate this milestone, I’m offering 25% off an annual subscription, which gives you access to everything I’ve written on Substack, and some of my most popular pieces (like this one, this one, and this one). It will also grant you access to the audio post below, several others, and everything I put behind the paywall for the rest of the year. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for supporting my work—whether you are a paid subscriber, or simply take the time to read.
Alright. It goes without saying that I wouldn’t be a writer if I didn’t allow myself to try, or, critically, be seen trying. Along these lines, a reader recently asked:
“I want to be a writer, but sometimes doing it feels cringe, and the idea of promoting myself or doing it publicly is even worse. What if I’m bad at it? Or delusional? I’m stuck waiting on the sidelines and don’t know how to start.”
The world is full of what you could call “closet creatives.” These are people who feel drawn towards a particular creative practice—writing, music, painting, you name it—but can’t muster the courage and/or discipline to pursue it. Why not? Well, there are plenty of seemingly legitimate reasons. Life is too busy, I am too old, I don’t know if I’m any good, what if I embarrass myself, etc. I get it.
Here, I offer my off-the-cuff thoughts on how (and why) to start, even if it feels cringe. (This applies to starting anything, not just something creative.) I talk about things like establishing a balanced ego, lowering the stakes while raising the bar, and cultivating the courage to be disliked or even mocked in the process.
A paraphrased excerpt from the audio:
“One of the hardest things about starting a creative practice publicly is that your only audience is the people you know in real life. Beyond actually doing the work itself, this is the first big hurdle. Often those people are hugely supportive—some will be your biggest fans—but often times they aren’t, and there are covert ways people try to put you in your place and undermine your efforts. Why? Because they don’t have the courage to do it themselves.
But this is the key: you can never do it for them. You have to do it for you. Write the thing that you think is interesting, paint the picture you want to see on the wall of a museum, make the music that you enjoy listening to. You’ll find that the better you get at your chosen craft, the more complete strangers will agree.”