I’m 3rd week in since coming back to work from a 3 week holiday period and the feeling is actually insane. First and second week it felt like I had space between myself, my dreams and my corporate job but now I’m sucked back into it and don’t even know how to step back. It’s an endless cycle and it takes an incredible amount of energy and time to acknowledge it and do something about it. It’s so easy to go on instagram, see a few beautiful pictures, gossip about a celebrity and feel as if you’ve achieved something… it’s so easy to avoid asking yourself the hard questions and taking responsibility over you life. I’m in my late 20s and am struggling big time
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling and I can certainly empathize. A demanding corporate job takes an extraordinary amount of mental, physical, and spiritual energy. Two things that helped me were trying to lower the stakes for myself on low value tasks (not doing bad work, just doing perfectly adequate work), and also having a moment each day where I kind of mentally "put on the mask." For me, this was the elevator up to the office and down at the end of the day. I literally would pretend that I was putting something on to protect myself and then taking it off as I left the office, which helped me compartmentalize. You can also ask yourself this question when it comes to your current job/career path: when I look at the people who succeed in this place, who are considered leaders and "high performers," do I want to be like them / have a life similar to theirs? If the answer is no, it's time to explore a different path.
I have a lot I could say about corporate life. Might have to write something about it.
How do you think we can identify to ourselves (because like you said, most of the times we already know deep down) when we are in the avoidant middle vs. incubation?
I think bitterness is the key emotion, perhaps also when we find ourselves resisting or terrified of failure vs. being open to experimenting in our lives and trusting that God will bring alignment.
Great thought-provoking piece as always, thank you Catherine!
Yes, this is well put. I think the avoidant middle is just that (avoidant). It's very closed off and judgmental to others and oneself. Incubation middle is like a little flame is inside of you.
Mild-mannered chiding I needed today. Maybe a little sacrilegious but honestly the first word I landed on was "admonition" and then my brain was like "Exactly. The Admonition of Catherine." Anyways. Thank you, as always ❤️
I like the pyramid's proportions, nice visual of the makeup of day-to-day life. Reminds me of a line I read in Surprised by Joy earlier this week, “It is not settled happiness but momentary joy that glorifies the past.”
Love this! Waiting in the incubation middle can feel hard--but I think you're right that there's a quality of hopefulness that makes it feel so much more positive and active than the passive, woe-is-me waiting of the avoidant middle!
Sent this to my cool kids Bible study group as required reading before we meet tomorrow morning — will be including psalm 130-131 & some other passages on purgatory. I was strapped to come up with a theme. They read it & are excited. As always, THANK YOU !
The avoidant middle sounds a lot like what Kathleen Norris describes in her book Acedia and Me (highly recommend). I read it in my 20s but those feelings came back to me in a different way when I became a mother.
Another one of my nutty theories, so I apologize for any lack of clarity. (I wrote it and edited and sent it in a single day.) And thank you, that's very kind.
I loved this. Concise, punchy, and (dare I say) accurate.
I too, spent a lot of my 20s in the avoidant middle, and it is indeed very corrosive. Recently shifted into the incubation middle and currently letting myself marinate a bit there. It does feel different. Avoidance makes me feel stuck and kinda depressed, while with incubation there's momentum and anticipation.
Interesting, how fitting this is. I also sustained an injury (re-injury, actually) and the initial weeks of 2026 were some of the hardest of the last years. It was a sort of purgatory, an acceptance of being in the "waiting room" and finding it in me to see the gift in this pause - it brought me many new practices and routines that have now given my life more gravitas and presence and grace.
I hope you are better, I hope you are well! Looking forward to your next piece, I always feel so comforted by what you write (one of the few substacks I really read regularly).
I’m 3rd week in since coming back to work from a 3 week holiday period and the feeling is actually insane. First and second week it felt like I had space between myself, my dreams and my corporate job but now I’m sucked back into it and don’t even know how to step back. It’s an endless cycle and it takes an incredible amount of energy and time to acknowledge it and do something about it. It’s so easy to go on instagram, see a few beautiful pictures, gossip about a celebrity and feel as if you’ve achieved something… it’s so easy to avoid asking yourself the hard questions and taking responsibility over you life. I’m in my late 20s and am struggling big time
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling and I can certainly empathize. A demanding corporate job takes an extraordinary amount of mental, physical, and spiritual energy. Two things that helped me were trying to lower the stakes for myself on low value tasks (not doing bad work, just doing perfectly adequate work), and also having a moment each day where I kind of mentally "put on the mask." For me, this was the elevator up to the office and down at the end of the day. I literally would pretend that I was putting something on to protect myself and then taking it off as I left the office, which helped me compartmentalize. You can also ask yourself this question when it comes to your current job/career path: when I look at the people who succeed in this place, who are considered leaders and "high performers," do I want to be like them / have a life similar to theirs? If the answer is no, it's time to explore a different path.
I have a lot I could say about corporate life. Might have to write something about it.
How do you think we can identify to ourselves (because like you said, most of the times we already know deep down) when we are in the avoidant middle vs. incubation?
I think bitterness is the key emotion, perhaps also when we find ourselves resisting or terrified of failure vs. being open to experimenting in our lives and trusting that God will bring alignment.
Great thought-provoking piece as always, thank you Catherine!
Yes, this is well put. I think the avoidant middle is just that (avoidant). It's very closed off and judgmental to others and oneself. Incubation middle is like a little flame is inside of you.
Mild-mannered chiding I needed today. Maybe a little sacrilegious but honestly the first word I landed on was "admonition" and then my brain was like "Exactly. The Admonition of Catherine." Anyways. Thank you, as always ❤️
I like the pyramid's proportions, nice visual of the makeup of day-to-day life. Reminds me of a line I read in Surprised by Joy earlier this week, “It is not settled happiness but momentary joy that glorifies the past.”
Haha, any tone of admonition is directed at myself, but I am glad to hear it helped! Great line, much to think about.
Love this! Waiting in the incubation middle can feel hard--but I think you're right that there's a quality of hopefulness that makes it feel so much more positive and active than the passive, woe-is-me waiting of the avoidant middle!
Sent this to my cool kids Bible study group as required reading before we meet tomorrow morning — will be including psalm 130-131 & some other passages on purgatory. I was strapped to come up with a theme. They read it & are excited. As always, THANK YOU !
Edit: one of the most profound conversations we have had
I love this
I want to join your cool kids Bible study group, it sounds amazing!
The avoidant middle sounds a lot like what Kathleen Norris describes in her book Acedia and Me (highly recommend). I read it in my 20s but those feelings came back to me in a different way when I became a mother.
I will check this out! Thanks for the rec.
This will take me a few reads to digest and understand, I think.
In the meantime, best wishes to you and yours. Your child is very lucky.
Another one of my nutty theories, so I apologize for any lack of clarity. (I wrote it and edited and sent it in a single day.) And thank you, that's very kind.
I loved this. Concise, punchy, and (dare I say) accurate.
I too, spent a lot of my 20s in the avoidant middle, and it is indeed very corrosive. Recently shifted into the incubation middle and currently letting myself marinate a bit there. It does feel different. Avoidance makes me feel stuck and kinda depressed, while with incubation there's momentum and anticipation.
the amount of my young life spent in the avoidant middle... whew...
Literal years of my life
Interesting, how fitting this is. I also sustained an injury (re-injury, actually) and the initial weeks of 2026 were some of the hardest of the last years. It was a sort of purgatory, an acceptance of being in the "waiting room" and finding it in me to see the gift in this pause - it brought me many new practices and routines that have now given my life more gravitas and presence and grace.
I hope you are better, I hope you are well! Looking forward to your next piece, I always feel so comforted by what you write (one of the few substacks I really read regularly).