The Situation
Here’s the situation: you’re at a bar, you’re a little tipsy, and there’s a guy. And that guy, well, he’s decided to move the conversation to Nietzsche. Whether you want to impress him or lightly check his ego, it’s always fun to have a little banger of a comment prepared for these kinds of situations. We all know that being hot and smart are not mutually exclusive, and honestly, I would love for my readers—who I know are all hot and cool and smart and kind—to have a few bangers on deck. It’s a personal goal of mine for Hot Girls everywhere, when confronted with a pompous intellectual, to effortlessly pull off a Will Hunting.
That’s precisely why we’re here today.
Welcome to The Hot Girl’s Guide to Aristotle.
Today we’re talking about Western philosophy. I’m here with my Anonymous Expert—a distinguished graduate in philosophy from Berkeley, Oxford, and Harvard—to get to the bottom of this whole philosophy thing.
Below, you will find a transcription of our conversation, a whirlwind tour through the “big hitters” of Western philosophy. A few of the topics and philosophers we covered:
Academia • Aristotle • Plato • Friendship • Lana Del Rey • Philosophy of Language • Music • Women • Legally Blonde • Law • Aquinas • God • Dōgen • Hobbes • Locke • Hume • Rousseau • Marx • Descartes • Cartesian Dualism • Mental Health • Kant • Hot Girl Walks • Hegel • Heidegger • Wittgenstein • Nietzsche • Kierkegaard • Pinterest Quotes • Bella Hadid • Selfies • Beauty • Nature • Philosophy Bros • Reflexivity • Love • & More
Depending on the time this reaches you, I strongly encourage you to head to your favorite café for a cappuccino or pour yourself a generous glass of pinot noir, because it’s time to learn, babe.