One of the hidden messages in what both you and Joan are saying is that even our mistakes will bless us if we let them. It is a severe mercy to be called out and called higher by our lower instincts. Especially, especially in our twenties.
I just had this conversation in therapy this week. How ‘bad’ the world can be and how hard things happen and more misfortune is really then only certainty…so why not live, like really LIVE right now? Why not reach for the best? Be defiant in your joy. Who knows how long we get. I thought I had learned this life lesson after cancer but clearly I needed another reminder on the merry go round 🙃
Catherine, You are absolutely right. Life can be scary. Bad things do happen. But we can and must choose how to respond, even though it may challenging and scary. We cannot isolate ourselves and be silent. We must find the courage to act and tell the truth.
Woke up in a cold sweat this morning.... already fearing my 25th birthday (it's in 3 months). I feel like I am finally exiting the everyone-hates-me era and understanding they truly don't care that much, in the best way... but I still somehow feel that too much time has escaped, it's too late for me, etc. etc. Can't explain how much I needed this piece! <3
“The thing that broke me was my own inaction in the face of those circumstances, my desire to lick my wounds, my lack of courage, and my refusal to get up off the ground and keep going.” 🥇
I just gifted Oh, The Places You’ll Go! to my best friend’s daughter and immediately returned here. Your piece reminded me so much of The Waiting Place—where one sits, waiting for life to happen instead of taking action. And, ofc, the deeper, underlying sentiment:
“I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you. (À la: it’s you against yourself.) All Alone! Whether you like it or not, alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.”
A beautiful and empowering reminder—thank you for it!—especially when read aloud, for others and for ourselves.
beautiful essay - i felt the honesty in it. took me directly back to this essay i wrote ( https://read.mindmine.xyz/p/you-vs-you ) a couple years ago exploring similar concepts, also inspired by the black swan, literally using some of the same images!! which was also fun to reread/revisit - glad to have found your writing :)
This is such a lovely read. Transported me directly back to my 20s. From 20 years later, I’m putting my hand on her shoulder and reminding her it’s not nearly as serious as she’s making it. Sigh. We just can’t know it til we know it and I guess that just requires feeling through it all. Thanks for this great piece!!💕
Thank you for writing this. Currently 21, and struggling with the fear of embarrassment, even though I tell myself I couldn't care less about what other people think of me. The line "It's not you against the world, if's you against yourself" brought me to tears because I know that simply is the reality of it. It just seems like such a hard thing to grasp. I can tell myself this over and over, and for some reason still feel stuck in the same spot I was 6 months ago.
It's wild how rare the idea that actions actually have consequences is in our world. I figured it out at some point in my early 20s, but I've met plenty of people older than that who are totally unaware of cause and effect in their lives. Great article!
i was 28 when that opening quote first found me, too! books are magic in that way--finding you when you need them most, or perhaps when you're finally ready to face the person you'll become at the end of a surprise paragraph. your words strike a great balance between honesty and gentleness, and i'm glad they found me today. thank you! ♥️
Your writing is so real and beautifully written - feel like you're always bringing to words the thoughts people try to ignore or don't try understanding
One of the hidden messages in what both you and Joan are saying is that even our mistakes will bless us if we let them. It is a severe mercy to be called out and called higher by our lower instincts. Especially, especially in our twenties.
Well said.
I wish I had read this five years ago! But sometimes you have just have to live it before you actually learn it irritatingly...
Totally. Everything I write about I've learned the hard way
Yes, you learn from experience.
I just bought the book!📕
I just had this conversation in therapy this week. How ‘bad’ the world can be and how hard things happen and more misfortune is really then only certainty…so why not live, like really LIVE right now? Why not reach for the best? Be defiant in your joy. Who knows how long we get. I thought I had learned this life lesson after cancer but clearly I needed another reminder on the merry go round 🙃
I feel like this is something I have to re-learn on a near daily basis.
Catherine, You are absolutely right. Life can be scary. Bad things do happen. But we can and must choose how to respond, even though it may challenging and scary. We cannot isolate ourselves and be silent. We must find the courage to act and tell the truth.
Do see my first post:https://open.substack.com/pub/thompsonolya/p/silences?r=p8i1i&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Woke up in a cold sweat this morning.... already fearing my 25th birthday (it's in 3 months). I feel like I am finally exiting the everyone-hates-me era and understanding they truly don't care that much, in the best way... but I still somehow feel that too much time has escaped, it's too late for me, etc. etc. Can't explain how much I needed this piece! <3
“The thing that broke me was my own inaction in the face of those circumstances, my desire to lick my wounds, my lack of courage, and my refusal to get up off the ground and keep going.” 🥇
I just gifted Oh, The Places You’ll Go! to my best friend’s daughter and immediately returned here. Your piece reminded me so much of The Waiting Place—where one sits, waiting for life to happen instead of taking action. And, ofc, the deeper, underlying sentiment:
“I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you. (À la: it’s you against yourself.) All Alone! Whether you like it or not, alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.”
A beautiful and empowering reminder—thank you for it!—especially when read aloud, for others and for ourselves.
beautiful essay - i felt the honesty in it. took me directly back to this essay i wrote ( https://read.mindmine.xyz/p/you-vs-you ) a couple years ago exploring similar concepts, also inspired by the black swan, literally using some of the same images!! which was also fun to reread/revisit - glad to have found your writing :)
wow -- I look forward to reading your essay! thank you for sharing with me
love this!!
This is such a lovely read. Transported me directly back to my 20s. From 20 years later, I’m putting my hand on her shoulder and reminding her it’s not nearly as serious as she’s making it. Sigh. We just can’t know it til we know it and I guess that just requires feeling through it all. Thanks for this great piece!!💕
Thank you for writing this. Currently 21, and struggling with the fear of embarrassment, even though I tell myself I couldn't care less about what other people think of me. The line "It's not you against the world, if's you against yourself" brought me to tears because I know that simply is the reality of it. It just seems like such a hard thing to grasp. I can tell myself this over and over, and for some reason still feel stuck in the same spot I was 6 months ago.
At 21 life can feel so stagnant, and progress can be very slow. But as long as you're moving just a bit closer each day, you're doing well. <3
u forgot to hold my hand
It's wild how rare the idea that actions actually have consequences is in our world. I figured it out at some point in my early 20s, but I've met plenty of people older than that who are totally unaware of cause and effect in their lives. Great article!
i was 28 when that opening quote first found me, too! books are magic in that way--finding you when you need them most, or perhaps when you're finally ready to face the person you'll become at the end of a surprise paragraph. your words strike a great balance between honesty and gentleness, and i'm glad they found me today. thank you! ♥️
You've written a lovely little piece. The quote from Mr. Emerson is especially appreciated.
Thank you! "Self-Reliance" is a haymaker of an essay.
Your writing is so real and beautifully written - feel like you're always bringing to words the thoughts people try to ignore or don't try understanding
Guy in his 30s also relates
reading again this is my favorite “pep talk”